Bittersweet

I keep telling Jeff how much I am loving being here in Mesa; I love getting inexpensive produce, I love the grocery store sales, I love swimming in the backyard, I love getting Utah fruit and canning them with my sister-in-law, I love making day trips up to the mountains to visit my parents, I love spending so much time with Jeff's parents, I love our new ward, I love it ALL. But I miss Hewitt. I miss my friends. I miss my ward. I miss the small towns and the green fields. I miss the Cameron Park Zoo and the Mayborn Museum. I miss Movie Night. I miss the fireflies. I miss the Texas accents (I plan on saying y'all for the rest of my life, hehe).  I miss playdates with friends. I miss it ALL.

I think one of the reasons this move has been so hard for me is because I know we won't ever move back. When we moved there, we knew that if things didn't work out or if we didn't like it, we could always move back. The thing is, things did work out and we loved it. Our time there was just done.

I am so grateful for Jeff's new job and the opportunity we have to be here in AZ. I will forever be grateful for the years we had in Texas and for the friends and memories that we made. Like I said, bittersweet.

Westward Ho!

After three years in my beloved Hewitt, TX, we have moved home to Arizona. Words cannot express the heartbreak I feel about leaving my dear friends and tender memories behind. A lot happened to our little family while we were there and I experienced so much personal growth; it has been life-changing. A little piece of my heart will always belong in the heart o' Texas. I will miss you!

On the other hand, we have been so amazingly blessed to find ourselves back in our home state close to our parents and much of our extended families. Jeff was able to get a good job with a stable company and we are so excited about this opportunity! We know the timing is right and have felt the Lord's hand guiding every step of this journey. I am continually awed and amazed at our Heavenly Father's love for us and his willingness to bless us in ways that we never thought possible. I have felt and seen it too many times to doubt it.

We are currently staying with Jeff's parents while we try to figure out where we want to live exactly. I have been somewhat stressed about this but I know that as we continue to pray and seek guidance, we will know what we should do. The kids start school next Wednesday and so we are working on getting them ready for that! But mostly right now, we are having so much fun with cousins since most of Jeff's family is in town!

It has been a busy summer and lots of changes for our family but we are optimistic and excited about the future! Life is beautiful and we are blessed.

What do you get when you combine strep with pneumonia?

One sick girl. And no, this is not a joke. Madlyn has been sick for 12 days now. She was diagnosed with strep throat 8 days ago and was just not getting better. She was still running a fever and was so tired and fatigued and didn't have any energy. Every time she would get up and do something, she would get winded and have to rest. On Monday I called the doctor and they changed her prescription and told me that if she wasn't better in 3 days to come in for another appointment. This morning she woke up with a fever still and even though it hadn't been 3 days, I felt like she needed to be seen so I called the doctor again and took her in. I told the nurse practitioner my concerns about her breathing (which were validated by her oxygen pulsometer?? and her heartrate and listening to her breathe, etc.) so we did a chest X-ray and a breathing treatment to see if that helped anything. After seeing her X-ray, the NP's words were, "Your X-ray is quite impressive. You have pneumonia. You have a pretty good case of pneumonia." Apparently her left lung was particularly bad. Poor girl. No wonder she has been so sick and so unlike herself. It makes me feel so bad that we didn't catch it earlier. I feel so frustrated because her breathing was what had me worried in the first place - she didn't even ever have a sore throat! I should start listening to my mommy instinct because I am almost always right on the money! (OK, not always. There was the time I was convinced there was something terrible going on in Madlyn's mouth - turned out she had a canker sore:) Dumb mom moment for sure.) Anyways, she has an additional antibiotic to take for a few days and hopefully she will be good as new by the time we hit the road for AZ next weekend!

It's Raining

A couple of months ago I realized that I needed some good music to listen to while I clean the house. If I have something good then I start dancing and actually can get quite a good workout in at the same time that the chores are getting done! It is so much more fun that way! I had to think and think about what kind of music I like because it has been years since I have really listened to anything other than what is in our CD changer in the car and the random songs Jeff plays for me. I decided that I just really like show music. So the first album I chose to buy was "Grease". I knew that it would get me dancing. It does, by the way. I am pretty sure my kids think I'm a little crazy busting my moves as I wipe down counters, load the dishwasher, and fold clothes:)

Today, it's raining. I love the rain. Especially today because I woke up to a pretty clean house (not always the case, I assure you). I can't stand a messy house when it is raining or overcast; I'm not sure why but it depresses me. So today I am feeling pretty good about being cozy inside my nice clean house while the rain comes pouring down.

I feel like I almost always have a song for every occasion. "Mister", my 5th grade teacher, was the same way. You could say one word and he always had a song to go with it. Of course, it was a song none of us had ever heard of but he would sing it anyway. I like that I am growing up that way. I don't always sing my songs out loud but at least I think of them.

Naturally, the song that came to mind this morning as I am gazing out my window at the lush green grass and the dark skies with the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance is,

It's raining...on prom night.

My hair is a mess.

It's running all over 

My taffeta dress.

It's wilting the quilting

on my maiden form.

And mascara flows

right down my nose

because of the storm.

 Nice. I can't even think of another good rain song to go with this beautiful day. Maybe I'll have to branch out a little with my listening choices:)


I just realized I need the soundtrack to "West Side Story" so that I can dance around the house singing, "I Feel Pretty"! Haha.

Busy Happenings...

Yes, we have been busy. Yes, it has been challenging. This being a mom is not an easy job. Rewarding, yes. Easy, no. And frankly, I have been pretty much living in survival mode and not even doing that very well for a couple of months. I think I am past that. At least I am blogging, no? Here are a few things that we've been doing at our house: 

getting visitors from AZ -  we loved it!

playing at the park

getting strep throat (Madlyn & I both had it and it was no bueno)

getting haircuts and being too handsome for words

getting temporary mohawks:) nope, I couldn't let him keep it:)

and yes, we are lucky enough to have 3 handsome boys!

learning how to climb on big sister's desk and get into all her stuff

trying on shoes (lots and lots of shoes - doesn't matter what size) and running around half naked

camping (thank goodness for fun dads - such a great weekend and I needed it)

I love this shot of the kids playing in the lake at sunset!

the kids had so much fun and got so incredibly dirty:)

trying out the new tent at 2pm

I think this is one of my favorite pictures of all-time! It captures Kimber's personality so well

I will say this: I am a lucky mom. And wife. Sometimes I get to feeling sorry for myself because I have so many dishes to wash or mountains of laundry to keep clean or because I have two toddlers running around and wreaking havoc on my house. Shame on me. I am so grateful to have such beautiful, amazing children who love me and make me pretty pictures for Mother's Day and give me lunch in bed and every single day of my life make me smile and laugh. I am so incredibly grateful for a husband who is NEVER critical and who so patiently encourages and supports me, especially on my hard days. I know I don't deserve them but I sure am glad they are mine:)

A Little Fall of Rain

One of my very favorite songs from Les Miserables is sung by Eponine and Marius - A Little Fall of Rain. I love it. The lyrics are heart-wrenching and the music is haunting and beautiful. Here are the first few lines:

Don't you fret, Monsieur Marius
I don't feel any pain.
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now.
You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me safe.
And you will keep me close.
And rain will make the flowers grow.

So what is the message in these words today? I will tell you.

We have had pretty much nonstop rain here for the past 4 days. When it first started, I was so excited! Living most of my life in the desert has made me love rain! After 2 full days of gray skies, I started feeling dreary. I know it wasn't just the weather but the clouds, the rain, and the lack of sunshine were oppressive. I became unmotivated, irritable, depressed, guilty, and felt like a failure as a mother and wife. It didn't matter what I tried (I even took a morning jog around the block in the drizzle yesterday), I could not pull myself up out of the dumps.

We made it to church today. Barely. I really dislike springing forward. I think it messes up my whole schedule for 6 months. Anyways. We made it. We heard 1 1/2 talks in Sacrament Meeting (out in the foyer) and I think they were talks given just for me. The lessons in Sunday School and Relief Society were amazing and so pertinent to the challenges I am facing. Toward the end of Relief Society, I had to excuse myself to change a dirty diaper and met a friend in the hallway. She started talked about my twins and how big they are getting, etc. and then she started telling me nice things like how amazing I am with my 6 kids. I felt badly for her because she was completely unsuspecting and I totally started crying to her! Wow - I never do that. I told her that I have been feeling overwhelmed and the conversation that followed was just what I needed. I left feeling uplifted and hopeful and inspired.

I came home and spent some precious hours with my kids, worked hard alongside my husband, and now in a few quiet moments, these lyrics came to my mind,

A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt me now.
You're here, that's all I need to know.
And you will keep me close.
And you will keep me safe.
And rain will make the flowers grow.

I know that even in our hard times, The Lord is with us. He keeps us close. He keeps us safe. I know that if I put my trust in Him, I can weather any rain that comes my way. And in the end, rain makes the flowers grow.

I'm a Proud Momma:)

I must admit, I thought I was pretty funny when I was a teenager. OK, so I still think I'm kind of funny. Hehe. It's perfectly fine for a person to laugh at their own jokes, right?

Back in high school, almost every day after school, I would hang out with my mother who was usually in the kitchen cleaning up dishes or getting dinner ready. I would often walk up to her and rub my hands through her hair like I was washing it and bust out singing, "I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair, I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair, I'm gonna wash that man right out of my hair...and send him on his way!" I'm telling you right now, it was pretty hilarious. If you don't believe me, just ask my mom:) She is a great mom, by the way.

Fast forward a few years and every time I wash my kids' hair in the bath - I sing the same song. I started with Maddie and I still do it with Callie & Kimber. Most of my kids have not even noticed my singing/washing rituals, unless it is Lane telling me that "I not a girl - I a boy!" (I change the lyrics appropriately for the boys:)) So nobody ever noticed, let alone thought I was clever or funny or anything. Until now. The other day I had the babies in the bath and I grabbed the shampoo. Immediately, Kimber started groovin' and singing in just the correct rhythm and intonations - I knew exactly what she was singing even though I couldn't understand her words! She was dancing, singing, and laughing -such a proud moment for me! Not to be outdone, Callie joined in the fun and now we all share a few minutes singing & dancing during bathtime - I love it!

Kimber is very musical and never fails to bust her groove every time she hears music - even if it is just music from a toy. She does this little wiggle from side to side and it is so cute! It's kind of like a little hula dancing - nothing really moves but her little hips - hilarious! Considering the fact that I can't keep from dancing when the music hits - I'm a proud momma!