I Hope You Don't Mind if I get a Little Personal...

This is a journal of sorts for me. I usually don't get too private or personal on here because of its public nature but since I have gone private and know exactly who I'm telling this to, I have decided to share some of my thoughts and experiences associated with our move. I want to record these experiences for posterity's sake but I also want those we left behind in AZ to understand why we are here and why this is not only about a job.

Since the day we got married, Jeff & I have been restless. Within the first two months of marriage, we made a trip to Cedar City, UT (where neither of us had ever been) to look at the college and area to see if we wanted to live there. Our answer was an astounding NO. So we settled into a happy life in Mesa but kept our eyes peeled for any other opportunity to move away. After 2 1/2 years, we made a move to Flagstaff. It was not exactly a place that I wanted to live but after being there for a couple of years, we realized that we loved it! Before Jeff graduated, his brother moved to Cedar City and his sister moved to the Dallas Texas area. We again longed to move somewhere different. Jeff even applied for some jobs in Dallas and had a couple of interviews while he was out here helping his sister move. We looked for jobs in Show Low and thought about buying a beautiful home that my dad built. Again and again, we did not feel good about any of these options. So, we moved back 'home' to the valley when Jeff graduated and built our lovely home in Queen Creek. Sadly enough though, we always felt that this move was not a very permanent one and often felt the urge to move somewhere. We talked often about where we wanted to settle...Show Low, northeast Mesa, Queen Creek....but never really knew what we wanted.

When the economy went south and Jeff's job became less than desirable, we began looking for other employment options. Since the Phoenix area did not provide many viable options in Jeff's field, the search was expanded to include surrounding states. We began to dream of living in Colorado or in Dallas, near Jeff's sister. We thought of living in UT where we could be by more family on both sides. When the opportunity came to apply for a job in Waco, TX...we scoffed. "I don't want to move to Waco, TX", I said. But...from the moment I said those words, I knew it was where we were headed. The application process went smoothly and when Larry called one day to interview Jeff over the phone, I began planning (in my mind) the move. I always felt pretty peaceful about it, even though my only experience with Waco was a gas/food stop a couple of years ago (not a good memory). Amidst lots of prayer though, we felt confident in proceeding with the interview process...knowing that the company was looking for a long-term commitment, not someone who just wanted to ride out the recession and then leave. At the end of a family vacation in UT, Jeff flew out to Waco for a face-to-face job interview. I anxiously awaited his every call and I asked him dozens of questions about the area. He was, as usual, a little cautious in his descriptions but he did say that he thought I would love it here. One evening after he came home, he told me, "It is a place I can picture us raising our family." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I felt the Spirit confirming this to me. After a L.O.N.G. wait (about 9 days), Jeff received a job offer in his email. It was a good offer and we were excited. We had not yet made our decision and now felt the full weight of it - did we really want to move our family two states away to an area that we didn't know at all, to live for who knows how long? We talked and prayed lots, and took a trip to the temple. We knew we needed to make a decision quickly because school was starting soon and we wanted Madlyn to be settled in before she started school. On the drive home from the temple, we felt more doubtful and unsure. We could feel the adversary working on us and we became fearful of the future. When we realized what was happening, we decided to say a prayer. We knew that we needed to have faith, not fear, if we wanted to have the guidance of Heavenly Father. I voiced the prayer and could barely make it through because of the tears. I felt so strongly that Heavenly Father had prepared this opportunity for us and that it was what we needed to do. We looked at each other, Jeff said, "Let's do it." and we went in the house to make the call to accept the offer.

We came out to look for houses to rent and the first day was so frustrating. I knew that if we were meant to be here, then Heavenly Father would open doors for us, but it didn't seem to be happening. The second day we decided to just drive around and call on houses that were for sale to see if any would be willing to rent for a while. We drove to Hewitt because we had felt good and peaceful there and immediately saw a sign. It was a new home that had never been lived in. It was close to the elementary school and I wanted it! Jeff called the realtor and she said that they actually were thinking about renting it out and asked Jeff some questions about us and then promised to call us back after she talked to the owner. I finally had some hope! While we were waiting for a callback, we decided to drive around just a little more. We drove down that street and over to the next one, where we saw an older house with a For Rent sign in the front. We stopped in front and waited just a minute before we called (we really wanted that nice new house realtor to call us back). We decided to say a prayer and again, I was voice. As I prayed that the first house would work out and that we could rent it, I had a very distinct thought, "You're sitting right in front of the house that you need to live in." We called on the house and the man came right over so we could look at it. I tell you what, it was not extremely impressive, and I kept hoping against hope that the realtor on the nice brand new house would call us back. Ya know what, she never did. And we decided to sign a year lease on this house for such a great rental price. I didn't want to do it. The house smelled bad and they had put reed diffusers in a few rooms to mask it and it just made it smell more terribly. It was old and just a little bit dirty. But throughout the whole process, I felt such an overwhelming peace and knew that this was where we needed to be. And now I feel so grateful to be in this house and not the other one right around the corner. We are just enough closer to the school that I can walk Madlyn to and from school each day, the rent is perfect, and the landlord is a really nice Christian man. We have some great neighbors (Among others, Mary & Louis - an aging couple that I know we will love having close by). We love the floor plan and feel so cozy here. We've gotten rid of the smell, although I'm having a little trouble in the boys' room 'cuz the previous tenants of that room were cats apparently (any advice on that would be greatly appreciated). And as mentioned previously, the master bedroom has two closets and that alone is reason enough for Jeff to live here for 30 years!!

The transition has been really smooth. I have never felt that isolated, scared feeling that I usually have when I move somewhere new. I haven't been too nervous to talk to people at church, and I feel very cozy and comfortable in our home. Jeff's job has been great, the kids' school experiences are good, and we are happy.

Today I was driving to the neighboring town of Robinson to take Cole to preschool. The drive over is absolutely gorgeous - big fields, trees, beautiful homes, manicured lawns. I began thinking about our move here and felt Heavenly Father's love pour over me. I know that all those restless feelings we've had in years past have been in preparation for this experience and that this is where we are supposed to be. Heavenly Father knows Jeff and me so personally and knew exactly where we would be happy. We absolutely love the green grass, the trees, the brick homes, the rurality of it all, the diversity in the ward, the close proximity to schools, work, and shopping, the conservative politics, and the morning dew (I know - what a concept). We are so lucky to have Jeff's sister Lyssa live only 2 short hours away; even in that Heavenly Father was mindful. I feel like it is a place designed with us in mind. And who would have known? Definitely not me.

As tears poured down my cheeks again, I felt that I had come home. I don't know how long we will live here; maybe a few years, maybe forever. But I do know that we have been led here and that we are not alone in any of this.

And in the same moment, the tears rolled as I felt such love and tenderness for Arizona and the wonderful people there. Jeff and I were both raised in that great state by amazing parents and we miss them dearly. We have such great friends and neighbors and coworkers there and we miss them. We miss being near the siblings and cousins that live there. It will not be quite the same coming back to visit...but we hope we'll get to see lots of you often!

We are happy here. We are home.

**When I go pick Cole up from school, I will post some pictures of the beautiful scenery that prompted this post. I am no Kim Skinner but maybe you'll get to see why we love it here.

**Of course, when I pulled out my camera on the way home from picking Cole up...it was out of batteries. Could not get even one picture out of it. So...I'll take some pictures soon & post them!